Silent Night

I have been blessed as a college student to not have too many late nights of class work or cramming. But tonight, I made the decision to stay up past midnight to work on a lengthy English paper.

In the quietness of my room with the soft glow of my two small Christmas trees, I contemplate how blessed I am. Silent Night softly plays through my headphones as I pause my typing fingers.

Silent night, holy night,
All is calm, all is bright.

The lyrics catch my attention, for the truth in my current situation rings out. Rarely is my mind in such a place that I can lean back and rest in the quietness of the evening, the midnight hour. An unusual calm has settled about me, the soft glow of my trees add to the mood. Then I realized: not only is the softness of my room quite and calm, but by the grace of God through my Savior I can proclaim my soul as calm, declare my future as bright.

Christmas is just a few weeks away. Too often in the rush of daylight do I regret the quickness with which time passes, the constant rush that life seems to keep pace with. I often forget that I have the power of Christ within my humble frame. Never should I feel the need to race on to the next thing. Seeking rest in my Savior and resting in the promises of my King can make the busyness of the morning as silent and calm as the peaceful night.

What a blessing. Peace in the midst of struggle. Rest in the midst of busyness. Silence in the midst of chaos. Jesus in the midst of it all.

Thank You, Father, for this reminder.

October~ First Breath of Fall

October 1st. The beginning of fall. 

This year has just gone by too fast.

Fall is my favorite season- and why not?

Here are a few of my favorite things; sweatshirts, scarves, jeans, layers, hot cocoa, heavy blankets, clear crisp air, Bon fires, s'mores, corn mazes, costume parties, pumpkin scents, falling leaves, changing colors. Fall also comes with the halfway mark of this college sophomore semester- which is ridiculously crazy. 

Lately I have thought back to where I was at this time last year. Though I feel as if I have made no progress with my life this last year, I know it isn't true. A year of college classes is behind me, a new position title and another year of work experience is under my belt, and I am more aware of the depths of my own sinful depravity. The grace of my God- though I'll never understand it- has been appreciated in new levels, and the enduring love of my Savior has crossed all barriers I may have put up. I don't know why He pursues my loathsome heart, but am forever grateful for His saving power and seeking love. 

 

Although I know of these things, it is a constant battle to remember His promises and His claim on my life. I am not my own: "What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's"-1 Corinthians 6:19-20.

What a marvelous Lord I serve. He loves me when I go my own way. Loves me enough to guide my heart back to Him. Enough to remove the barriers I set up to protect myself, knowing that His protection far exceeds what I could attempt. 

Blessed beyond measure. 

 

What a amazing way to contemplate the beginning of this favored season!

Waiting...

I am impatient.

I am impatient in most areas of my life.

Okay, I am impatient in all areas of my life.

Especially in the relationship area. I have been growing steadily impatient-er (I know, it isn't a word) the last few weeks- if I am honest, the last few months- with my lack of a special relationship.

Here I could go off on a theological discussion of how I know that the most important, special, exciting, pleasing, fulfilling, deepest, relationship I could ever dream of being in is the relationship between myself and my Savior, my King, my God, my Lord. I know this. In the deepest depth of my heart I understand this. My brain constantly pulls me back to this fact. But, I am sinful. I seek pleasure in things other than my incomprable relationship with my Creator. So if you continue reading this post, bear in mind that this is the rant and realization of a sinner who knows better, who knows the Answer to this heart problem, who recognizes that this does boil down to a heart/sin problem. So here, instead of preaching to myself right away, I will delve into why I have been growing impatient.

It seems everyone I know is in a relationship, starting a relationship, or happy with the love of their life. Meanwhile, I have no social life (again, I could go into a discussion of why this is my own fault- but that would destroy this lovely pity party). I spend my life working full time with people I do thoroughly enjoy working with (but no eligible fellows there), balancing a full college load of 15 credit hours (with four of those classes being online, again leaving no eligible fellows- just grammatical ignoramuses). The few moments I spend outside this bubble of work and school, I grow a negative attitude that I never get noticed. No one is ever going to see past this face of disinterest I have been told I put off. I don't mean to seem that way!

This pity party is not one I desire to linger in. I knew I needed to lose this 'tudage and get over myself. Unfortunately I started complaining to God. Here I am, trying to wait on Your timing and not rush into anything I try to create on my own. But Your timing is soooo slow! I mean, I am not growing any younger, and in my perfect picture of my life, I should be in a serious relationship right now in order to be married and have a child by 23. Are You ever going to bring the right guy into my life? Or does Your plan leave me all alone? Quite a foolish argument when I see it typed out. But this sinner's heart is foolish. After thinking such thoughts even last night, God had a plan for me today.
First off, my mom sent me this picture in an email:

Source: polyvore.com via Rose Ann on Pinterest

Then, my Pandora account played John Waller's "While I'm Waiting" song twice while I was getting ready for church. Such beautiful lyrics and reminder of what I should be doing. Here is a video of the song:

 

 

 

Okay, I get the reminder. Thank You, Father, for sending that song to me at this time. But His plan for this morning was not finished. The title of today's sermon was "Learning to Wait Well". Hmmm. I admit that tears welled up several times during the sermon, as well as during the worship service song lyrics "I will wait for You". My detail-oriented God orchestrated this morning as a reminder for this foolish daughter of His. He knows what He is doing. He knows my heart and my desires- He created me with such desires. He also knows that while I wait for His plans to come about, He can orchestrate something within my own heart, something that draws me closer into our relationship.

 

I am impatient. But I will be attempting to worship, serve, and grow deeper with my Savior in the wait.



 



The Reason Behind the Name :)

{Hidden&Seeking}

Why exactly is the name of this blog a slightly modified version of a child's game?

I don't know...
Just kidding :)

Not only is the name a little catchy (if I do say so myself), but it stands for two important things in my life.

1. "Hidden":

• My life is hidden in Christ: "Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. For ye are dead, and you life is HID with Christ in God."~Colossions 3:2-3
• In Christ are all treasures hidden: "That their hearts might be comforted, being knit together in love, and unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgement of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ, in Whom are HID all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge."~Colossians 2:2-3
• As a reminder of the important things to be focusing on: "Your adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting of the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel: but let it be the HIDDEN man of the heart, in that which is not corruptiblele, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price."~1 Peter 3:3-4

2. "Seeking":
A reminder as to what I should be seeking after: Not popularity or riches, not a degree or boyfriend, not the "perfect" life or expensive style. But rather:

• Deuteronomy 4:29 "But if from thence thou shalt seek the LORD thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul."
• 1 Chronicles 16:11 "Seek the LORD and his strength, seek his face continually."
• Psalm 27:8 "When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek."
• Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."
•  Matthew 7:7 "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:"
• Luke 12:29-31 "And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind. For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things. But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you."

There are many more verses about seeking God, His will, and His kingdom that I could add here. But I believe that I have made my point.

So that is the meaning behind the blog. What exactly I will post on here is still the mystery :). So I guess that you will have to keep checking in to find out.
:D

God bless!