Sunday, October 14, 2012

Expectations- Rarely Realistic

Expectations are a funny thing.

For instance, I always start the week with high expectations. Tomorrow (Monday) is my usual day off; but this week I am sure that I will work way ahead on all of my college classes, finishing several sessions by mid-afternoon. Then, I will be free to enjoy an evening at home with my family. Since I know that I have been lacking in my help with keeping up the household, I expect of myself that to plan- at the very least, help make- at least one meal for the family, help with grocery shopping, do a clean sweep of the house as a surprise for my over-worked mother, do one fun bonding activity with my little sister, and partake of some yard work for my dad.
Also, I have been too busy with work and school to enjoy any of my own hobbies. The college class is having a star-gazing party Friday night; fellowship with other believers will be a blessing to my Spirit. I could take my free Saturday and get together with my long-lost friend, do some early morning vintage window shopping, and enjoy a special treat. My living quarters could use some redecorating and rearranging, to keep everything fresh. Oh yeah- I also need to do some business with the eye doctor and the bank- something that has been put off for several weeks now. And I would really love to compose a few in-depth, applicable Bible studies in conjunction with what I have been learning the past few weeks. I could do that on a few of my early mornings before work. Right after a morning jog to help kick off an healthy and missing dose of exercise my body has been deprived of.

The humor and ridiculousness of the above paragraphs force me to type outside the bounds of my grammatical perfectionism to say: LOL. JK!!!!

I understand that expectations are a good thing- when they are made inside the bounds of reasonableness and attainability. Sometimes, though, I wish I could take a few days- just four!- and fulfill my lofty expectations to the level of perfection. My foolish heart half-way believes that this achievement would make me feel complete, feel of worth, feel made whole.

The other half understands that my truest sense of satisfaction does not come from the completion of tasks, of fulfilling duties I have placed upon myself. Rather, it knows that in Christ alone can hope be found. In Christ alone will I be satisfied. In serving and seeking Him will my heart overflow with sense of purpose, worth, and joy.

Therefore, my realistic goals for this week are much simpler. Complete my class sessions- preferably before Friday, pitch in around the house more, and publish a few Bible studies. I would like to attend the College class activity as a chance to be revitalized and uplift other Christians, call the bank, and set up a meeting with my dear friend, but I understand that other priorities are more important.
Above all, though, I pray that this week I might seek to serve my Savior. Whether that is manifested in holding my tongue when I'd rather lash out in anger, helping an irritating customer, or simply taking the quiet moments I find myself in and praising my Maker, I hope my main expectation becomes a reality: becoming closer to my God.

I close with some of my favorite pins from my WoRdS board on Pinterest.
 

His Love: none can comprehend

Focus

This song makes me rise to the tips of my toes and cry my heart out to my Creator

Monday, October 1, 2012

October~ First Breath of Fall

October 1st. The beginning of fall. 

This year has just gone by too fast.

Fall is my favorite season- and why not?
Here are a few of my favorite things; sweatshirts, scarves, jeans, layers, hot cocoa, heavy blankets, clear crisp air, Bon fires, s'mores, corn mazes, costume parties, pumpkin scents, falling leaves, changing colors. Fall also comes with the halfway mark of this college sophomore semester- which is ridiculously crazy. 

Lately I have thought back to where I was at this time last year. Though I feel as if I have made no progress with my life this last year, I know it isn't true. A year of college classes is behind me, a new position title and another year of work experience is under my belt, and I am more aware of the depths of my own sinful depravity. The grace of my God- though I'll never understand it- has been appreciated in new levels, and the enduring love of my Savior has crossed all barriers I may have put up. I don't know why He pursues my loathsome heart, but am forever grateful for His saving power and seeking love. 
 
Although I know of these things, it is a constant battle to remember His promises and His claim on my life. I am not my own: "What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's"-1 Corinthians 6:19-20.

What a marvelous Lord I serve. He loves me when I go my own way. Loves me enough to guide my heart back to Him. Enough to remove the barriers I set up to protect myself, knowing that His protection far exceeds what I could attempt. 

Blessed beyond measure. 
 
What a amazing way to contemplate the beginning of this favored season!