Showing posts with label Dream. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dream. Show all posts

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Expectations- Rarely Realistic

Expectations are a funny thing.

For instance, I always start the week with high expectations. Tomorrow (Monday) is my usual day off; but this week I am sure that I will work way ahead on all of my college classes, finishing several sessions by mid-afternoon. Then, I will be free to enjoy an evening at home with my family. Since I know that I have been lacking in my help with keeping up the household, I expect of myself that to plan- at the very least, help make- at least one meal for the family, help with grocery shopping, do a clean sweep of the house as a surprise for my over-worked mother, do one fun bonding activity with my little sister, and partake of some yard work for my dad.
Also, I have been too busy with work and school to enjoy any of my own hobbies. The college class is having a star-gazing party Friday night; fellowship with other believers will be a blessing to my Spirit. I could take my free Saturday and get together with my long-lost friend, do some early morning vintage window shopping, and enjoy a special treat. My living quarters could use some redecorating and rearranging, to keep everything fresh. Oh yeah- I also need to do some business with the eye doctor and the bank- something that has been put off for several weeks now. And I would really love to compose a few in-depth, applicable Bible studies in conjunction with what I have been learning the past few weeks. I could do that on a few of my early mornings before work. Right after a morning jog to help kick off an healthy and missing dose of exercise my body has been deprived of.

The humor and ridiculousness of the above paragraphs force me to type outside the bounds of my grammatical perfectionism to say: LOL. JK!!!!

I understand that expectations are a good thing- when they are made inside the bounds of reasonableness and attainability. Sometimes, though, I wish I could take a few days- just four!- and fulfill my lofty expectations to the level of perfection. My foolish heart half-way believes that this achievement would make me feel complete, feel of worth, feel made whole.

The other half understands that my truest sense of satisfaction does not come from the completion of tasks, of fulfilling duties I have placed upon myself. Rather, it knows that in Christ alone can hope be found. In Christ alone will I be satisfied. In serving and seeking Him will my heart overflow with sense of purpose, worth, and joy.

Therefore, my realistic goals for this week are much simpler. Complete my class sessions- preferably before Friday, pitch in around the house more, and publish a few Bible studies. I would like to attend the College class activity as a chance to be revitalized and uplift other Christians, call the bank, and set up a meeting with my dear friend, but I understand that other priorities are more important.
Above all, though, I pray that this week I might seek to serve my Savior. Whether that is manifested in holding my tongue when I'd rather lash out in anger, helping an irritating customer, or simply taking the quiet moments I find myself in and praising my Maker, I hope my main expectation becomes a reality: becoming closer to my God.

I close with some of my favorite pins from my WoRdS board on Pinterest.
 

His Love: none can comprehend

Focus

This song makes me rise to the tips of my toes and cry my heart out to my Creator

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Random CrAzY

I have absolutely lost my favorite Christmas postcards. They are no where to be found :(

I discovered that I missed two e-math quizzes- very frustrated that I forgot and had no reminders >:(

I feel like it is only October: I don't know how much more I can get into the Christmas season than working retail, but it has not sunk in that there is only 21 days until Christmas :O

I can't wait until the new year so I can have a fresh start, a new semester, and fewer crazy hours at work. But I don't want this year to end already, I am going to miss all my teachers and few close classmates, and I have been complaining of not having enough hours at my job. I believe I am indecisive, but I cannot decide if that is the case or if it is something else.

I wish I lived in a different state, somewhere out west, with no school or work responsibility, just doing my own antique dream. But this "dream" would have to work without any problems, and I don't really want to go through yet another change, so maybe I am happier where I am.

I have not given my Savior the credit due to His name and His work on the cross. I have complained and moaned and griped and sighed and wished and coveted and sought out ways to fulfill what I think my life should be. As a result, I have forgotten that I "am bought with a price" paid by the precious blood of the Lamb, my Savior and Friend (1 Corinthians 6:20). For this I fall on my knees in humility and despisement of self. How wrong I have been this week. God, help me to go forward in the light of Your Son, following not my will but Thine, and seeking to bring honor and glory to You.

*Sigh*. Now time for a busy week of lasts. Our last girls Bible study, last week of English class, last week before finals. And prayerfully, last week of having such a self-centered view and heart. For a while, at least.