I seem to be lost in a section of my own mind.
Time goes through crazy periods of flying by and dragging on.
My 40 hour work weeks with 12 credit hours worth of homework- combined with 3-midnight shifts- have me feeling like I am losing the "grip" I had on my life.
I don't feel as needed or at the top of my game at work like I did before this position change.
I discovered that I had been placing my identity in my job and work life and not in my Savior- ouch.
I missed the first few Bible studies (one of the best parts of last semester) because of this crazy job- yet I complain about not getting enough hours or go in on my days off.
I have not been feeling satisfied with any aspect of my life: spiritual side has taken a step back (need to read and pray more), work has gone out of control, friendships have become dusty, and family has become more strained than it should.
When will this end?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!
Oh. As soon as I surrender. Hmph- that is a lot harder than it used to be. I think I have become pleased with the feeling of self accomplishment and fufillment, and have chosen to forget the ultimate satisfaction Christ alone can give. I have come to the point where my accomplishments have fallen flat and my "fufillment" has left me empty. But I still can't seem to get back to where I was, let alone move forward.
If you are reading this and you know me, I'd appreciate the prayer. I may not confess this by word of mouth, but I need help desperately. But only God can do that helping, and only I can accept it. I don't need a lecture, a how-to, or a stern command from man: I need to work this out between myself and my Savior. However, I do ask for prayer.
Thank you. And thank You Savior for not giving up on me yet or ever. I am seeking my way back to You- thank You for Your love and patience.
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