It was recently brought to my attention how much time has passed since I last posted anything on this blog.
It is true.
My reasons for this vary, but most importantly, I saw the need to move on. To change. To try something new. To take the lessons I have learned and use them to propel me into a better future.
I have yet to decide what to do with this blog; therefore it has been neglected.
I haven't stopped writing, journaling, blogging; I have simply moved on to something new. And what a time to share this news! The second day of a new year.
Change can be scary, but it's worth it. So follow the King, heed to His callings, and hide His Word in your hearts. Through all that happened last year and all that is to come this year, King Jesus reigns. Amen.
~His Beloved
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Friday, September 27, 2013
A Love Lately Forgotten
I've been reading in John the last few days. After the crazy few weeks I just had, I needed to read about my Savior in John's down-to-earth, detailed, love-centered tone. Though the author's focus is portraying Jesus as God, I feel like I can relate to the humanness of my Savior the most in John. I see His love and it grows my love for Him. Here are a few passages that caught my attention this morning.
"Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know" (John 14:1-4). The first calling slowed my heart today, as "troubled" well-described my heart's condition. But my Jesus didn't just tell me to not be troubled- even if He did, that would simply be enough- He promised that He is preparing something grander for me, and more spectacular than that, He promises to be with me! To come back for me! How my heart longs for this tonight; longs, yet rejoices in the fact that His Spirit dwells within me- how I have forgotten this the last few weeks!
"He riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself. After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded" (John 13:4, 5). I love how this verse shows the humility of my Savior- He laid aside His garments as He did His heavenly glory when He left His throne- to wash the filth off his traitor's feet.
"Jesus saith unto him, Have I been so long time with you, and yet hast thou not known me, Philip? he that hath seen me hath seen the Father; and how sayest thou then, Shew us the Father?" (John 14:9). I can just hear the pain in His voice as He looks at Philip with hurt in His eyes, thinking back over the last few years He has spent pouring His life into these men. These men, who were privileged and chosen to walk with Christ, live with Christ, study His actions, listen to His prayers, they still didn't get it, didn't understand, couldn't comprehend.
"Now before the feast of the passover, when Jesus knew that his hour was come that he should depart out of this world unto the Father, having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end" (John 13:1). This has to be one of the verses about Christ that I love the most. "He loved His own". In the nearing of my Lord's hardest hours on this earth, His focus was on the sinful, forgetful, hard-headed men who gave up everything to follow Him. He chose them, but greater than that, He loved them.
Oh Savior, I would that You would draw me to Your side. Thank You for this morning's reminder of Your everlasting, penetrating, heart-transforming love.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Saturday Night Struggles
Being the perfectionist and time manager that I am, I always decide the evening before what outfit I will wear the next day- complete with jewelry and shoes. Saturday night is no different, though I often spend more time deciding what to wear for the following Sunday morning than any other evening.
As I tried on outfit after outfit the past Saturday night, complaining about my body in one look, my lack of options in another, nitpicking the details of one navy sweater versus the other, I finally sighed with discontent and frustration and went with my fifth choice. "No one is even going to notice, anyway", I grumbled, "why do I even care what I'm wearing? Who am I trying to impress?" The last question halted further action. I knew the answer and didn't like it.
The "in-crowd". The popular kids. The group I never feel like I will be a part of. The circle of girls I see every week, but never get to talk to. The ones with whom my poor attempts at friendly conversation end in awkward silence. These women are always dressed fashionably, always put together, always have an air of confidence about them. My painful deliberation of what outfit to wear every Sunday stems from a desire to fit into this group.
I, in my prideful state of sinful flesh, had thought that I was past all my complaints of not "fitting in". I have written several posts about the topic (here and here), coming to the rightful conclusion that wanting to "fit in" shows an incorrect focus on my part. That, for one, I am just a stranger passing through to my final destination, to my true place of belonging. This world should never feel right. And two, my focus should not be how I am being served (feeling recognized and accepted by those around me) but rather how I can serve Christ by loving those around me in a way that glorifies Him.
"But Savior", I cry, "I never feel like I belong! I pour into certain individuals- sacrificing my time and comfort- and never get the favor, or even a simple "Hi, how are you?" in return for my service from the people who seem to be in the "in-crowd". What is wrong with me that I don't see? Why won't You let me feel accepted? Must I always feel like an outcast?"
I feel bad for ranting to Christ. I consider His life on earth with the realization that He never was accepted by those around Him. Talk about feeling like an outcast. The King of glory came down to save His wretched people and "his own received him not" (John 1:5?). His brothers shunned Him, His country didn't believe Him, the "in crowd" of religious leaders, where He should have been accepted joyfully, rejected Him to the point of plotting His murder. So then, where did Christ spend His time? The Creator of the universe devoted His life to time spent with the socially unacceptable, the unclean, the broken, the forgotten, the despised and rejected.
As I continued down this trail of thinking, I wondered; how did Christ constantly pour into those around Him with the right attitude? I read the gospels and see His patient, comforting, overly abundant love for His disciples; men that He spent three years of His life with, teaching and leading them, praying for them, loving and living with them. An these men were not who I- or anyone- would consider easy to love! I read the same accounts of Christ's love and see how stubborn, selfish, and stupid these men appear; they are blind to what Christ has done for them, they don't believe His words, they flee and disappear in Christ's darkest moment. But Christ, even with knowing all these things, even seeing the depths of their depraved hearts, chose to love them. Not just love them- He loved them with the same measure of love the Father bestowed to Christ!! After all these men did to Christ, He still died for them. After all those who claimed Him to be unacceptable, those who made Him their enemy, those who didn't think He was good enough, those who plotted His death; He chose to love them too, to the point of dying for their wickedness to give them the gift of eternal life and salvation.
That is the example of love I have to follow.
But what do I often do? To protect my pride, to keep myself from feeling hurt, I build a wall around myself. I have chosen to look down on that "in crowd", to see myself as better than them because of this or that. I don't display the example of love my Savior provides; rather, I do what my heart tells me will protect me from further hurt or risk of feeling left out. Of course, my heart tells me wrong because it is desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9).
I am trying to keep Christ as my heart's all consuming focus. Praying that He would take my dark and loathsome spots of sin and wash them white as snow. Change my selfish heart of flesh and renew it with one passionate for Him, one that overflows with His love for me in a serving love and care for those around me. Jesus, please work in my life. I'm lost without you and the state of my heart makes me hang my head in shame. "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me" (Psalm 51:10).
As I tried on outfit after outfit the past Saturday night, complaining about my body in one look, my lack of options in another, nitpicking the details of one navy sweater versus the other, I finally sighed with discontent and frustration and went with my fifth choice. "No one is even going to notice, anyway", I grumbled, "why do I even care what I'm wearing? Who am I trying to impress?" The last question halted further action. I knew the answer and didn't like it.
The "in-crowd". The popular kids. The group I never feel like I will be a part of. The circle of girls I see every week, but never get to talk to. The ones with whom my poor attempts at friendly conversation end in awkward silence. These women are always dressed fashionably, always put together, always have an air of confidence about them. My painful deliberation of what outfit to wear every Sunday stems from a desire to fit into this group.
I, in my prideful state of sinful flesh, had thought that I was past all my complaints of not "fitting in". I have written several posts about the topic (here and here), coming to the rightful conclusion that wanting to "fit in" shows an incorrect focus on my part. That, for one, I am just a stranger passing through to my final destination, to my true place of belonging. This world should never feel right. And two, my focus should not be how I am being served (feeling recognized and accepted by those around me) but rather how I can serve Christ by loving those around me in a way that glorifies Him.
"But Savior", I cry, "I never feel like I belong! I pour into certain individuals- sacrificing my time and comfort- and never get the favor, or even a simple "Hi, how are you?" in return for my service from the people who seem to be in the "in-crowd". What is wrong with me that I don't see? Why won't You let me feel accepted? Must I always feel like an outcast?"
I feel bad for ranting to Christ. I consider His life on earth with the realization that He never was accepted by those around Him. Talk about feeling like an outcast. The King of glory came down to save His wretched people and "his own received him not" (John 1:5?). His brothers shunned Him, His country didn't believe Him, the "in crowd" of religious leaders, where He should have been accepted joyfully, rejected Him to the point of plotting His murder. So then, where did Christ spend His time? The Creator of the universe devoted His life to time spent with the socially unacceptable, the unclean, the broken, the forgotten, the despised and rejected.
As I continued down this trail of thinking, I wondered; how did Christ constantly pour into those around Him with the right attitude? I read the gospels and see His patient, comforting, overly abundant love for His disciples; men that He spent three years of His life with, teaching and leading them, praying for them, loving and living with them. An these men were not who I- or anyone- would consider easy to love! I read the same accounts of Christ's love and see how stubborn, selfish, and stupid these men appear; they are blind to what Christ has done for them, they don't believe His words, they flee and disappear in Christ's darkest moment. But Christ, even with knowing all these things, even seeing the depths of their depraved hearts, chose to love them. Not just love them- He loved them with the same measure of love the Father bestowed to Christ!! After all these men did to Christ, He still died for them. After all those who claimed Him to be unacceptable, those who made Him their enemy, those who didn't think He was good enough, those who plotted His death; He chose to love them too, to the point of dying for their wickedness to give them the gift of eternal life and salvation.
That is the example of love I have to follow.
But what do I often do? To protect my pride, to keep myself from feeling hurt, I build a wall around myself. I have chosen to look down on that "in crowd", to see myself as better than them because of this or that. I don't display the example of love my Savior provides; rather, I do what my heart tells me will protect me from further hurt or risk of feeling left out. Of course, my heart tells me wrong because it is desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9).
I am trying to keep Christ as my heart's all consuming focus. Praying that He would take my dark and loathsome spots of sin and wash them white as snow. Change my selfish heart of flesh and renew it with one passionate for Him, one that overflows with His love for me in a serving love and care for those around me. Jesus, please work in my life. I'm lost without you and the state of my heart makes me hang my head in shame. "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me" (Psalm 51:10).
Saturday, July 13, 2013
This Life. This Lord.
Life without Christ must be miserable. When I try to think, act, live on my own apart from the counsel and comfort of my Savior, I fall. Hard. I wonder why I even try, why I balance such a crazy schedule for no apparent reason, why I don't just say heck with it all and drop school or work. I get overwhelmed. I cry. I worry extensively and spiral into discontented anger.
But praise the Lord I don't live this life on my own! I can crawl on my knees to the throne of grace; I can raise my tear-stained face to my Creator; I can lift my shattered heart to the Lover of my soul.
He listens to my cries. He upholds me with right hand. His tender love overwhelms my soul, covering the fears of my weak heart with powerful waves. He is the Good Shepherd, guiding and caring for this wayward sheep. His cords of love bind my heart to Him, if I surrender. He offers protection from the winds and storms of this life- He is my Fortress and high Tower. He offers strength to my weary bones- He is my Rock. He satisfies my dying thirst- He is the Living Water. He fills my hunger for something more- He is the Bread of Life. He ends my longing search for love that lasts- He is Love, and that Everlasting, from beginning to the end. He answers my need for meaning- He created me for His pleasure.
Lord, draw me to Your side. Your child is hurting and confused, begging Your presence and wisdom. Open my eyes to the reality of these truths; make them pillars in my heart. Guide me, O Thou great Jehovah.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Tired.
My summer could most definitely be summarized by the word busy, or scheduled. But this one word, tired, would describe my spirit during this time. I feel ragged. Worn. I often feel like I won't be able to keep up this pace for the last half of this season. My innate desire for independence- rather than a spirit of submission- pushes me to attempt to exceed all my duties on my own, to fulfill the expectations of those around me, to be able to cross the last task off my to-do list and feel satisfied that I accomplished it all.
But I can't. If I chose to let the waves of fear crash over my soul, I crumble under the sense of being overwhelmed- because I am. I can't work over forty hours at my job, while taking two eight-week college courses, serve in various ministries, and prepare, plan, and lead a high school girls' Bible study every week. And those are only the things I've committed to this summer, not including being active in the college ministry activities, devoting time to build friendships, setting time aside to be a participant in my family's life, taking steps to go beyond my regular devotions to grow a greater understanding of my King, and being wiling to sacrifice time to invest in the live of others.
As it is, I am not doing some of the things I half-way committed to, like a weekly college Bible study, helping the coffee ministry on Saturday nights, and growing personally in areas of my life in the summer-goals-I'd-like-to-see-accomplished list I made.
I have responded poorly more times this summer than I have responded correctly to circumstances in my life. I have quite a list of regrets already, and the summer is only half-way over. I've asked myself "why?" a hundred times. I look back on the state of my heart at the end of this past spring and wonder how a heart so on fire and focused on Christ could struggle so much on even simply communicating with its Savior a few weeks later. I know that the answer is a sinful nature; that what I set my heart and thoughts on directs the path my life then follows. But I've fought with God the last two weeks. I've asked Him to show me where there may be unconfessed sin, since I haven't felt His presence, His guidance; my prayers feel like they are going unheard. I've pled the Psalms where David confidently cries out to God, repeating the promises God made of hearing his prayers. "How long, oh Lord?" I've asked. I've prayed for wisdom, for clarity, for peace, for forgiveness, for a clean heart, for a new spirit, for answers. I've prayed for the endurance to continue, for confidence in my asking, for an increase in my belief.
I guess I'll have to rely on what I can't see. I have to continue by faith. My God has never proven Himself to be unfaithful; He won't start now. I need to stop and assess my thoughts, my motives, my heart- and give them up to Christ. I need to seek my solace in my Savior, my rest in my Redeemer, my peace in the Prince of peace.
I need to give up doing everything in my own strength. It's never going to work.
Praise God it doesn't have to. He is enough.
But I can't. If I chose to let the waves of fear crash over my soul, I crumble under the sense of being overwhelmed- because I am. I can't work over forty hours at my job, while taking two eight-week college courses, serve in various ministries, and prepare, plan, and lead a high school girls' Bible study every week. And those are only the things I've committed to this summer, not including being active in the college ministry activities, devoting time to build friendships, setting time aside to be a participant in my family's life, taking steps to go beyond my regular devotions to grow a greater understanding of my King, and being wiling to sacrifice time to invest in the live of others.
As it is, I am not doing some of the things I half-way committed to, like a weekly college Bible study, helping the coffee ministry on Saturday nights, and growing personally in areas of my life in the summer-goals-I'd-like-to-see-accomplished list I made.
I have responded poorly more times this summer than I have responded correctly to circumstances in my life. I have quite a list of regrets already, and the summer is only half-way over. I've asked myself "why?" a hundred times. I look back on the state of my heart at the end of this past spring and wonder how a heart so on fire and focused on Christ could struggle so much on even simply communicating with its Savior a few weeks later. I know that the answer is a sinful nature; that what I set my heart and thoughts on directs the path my life then follows. But I've fought with God the last two weeks. I've asked Him to show me where there may be unconfessed sin, since I haven't felt His presence, His guidance; my prayers feel like they are going unheard. I've pled the Psalms where David confidently cries out to God, repeating the promises God made of hearing his prayers. "How long, oh Lord?" I've asked. I've prayed for wisdom, for clarity, for peace, for forgiveness, for a clean heart, for a new spirit, for answers. I've prayed for the endurance to continue, for confidence in my asking, for an increase in my belief.
I guess I'll have to rely on what I can't see. I have to continue by faith. My God has never proven Himself to be unfaithful; He won't start now. I need to stop and assess my thoughts, my motives, my heart- and give them up to Christ. I need to seek my solace in my Savior, my rest in my Redeemer, my peace in the Prince of peace.
I need to give up doing everything in my own strength. It's never going to work.
Praise God it doesn't have to. He is enough.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
The Savior's Solace in Summer Stress
The start of another semester awaits me tomorrow. As I looked over my course
syllabus for each class today, the usual worry creeped into my mind. The fear
that I can't do all that I must to fulfill the requirements for my classes. The
fear that the work of two summer classes, a full time work load, leading a girls
Bible study, and being involved in the college class will become too
overwhelming. The stress of balancing my schedule always burdens me on the first
day of my semester.
But this time, the stress didn't send me into a state of despair. Though I may have uttered a sigh of "I can't do this", my heart didn't dwell on the thought. And I know the reason why.
This time, my heart and spirit had deeper roots in my Foundation. My King has revealed Himself to me in so many ways the last few months, that I've grown to seek comfort in His promises sooner rather than later. When life presents me with struggles and challenges greater than I can bear, I know and believe that my Creator holds my life and everything around me; to Him I run. I have no reason to wrestle with problems in my own weakness when my God has already conquered it. "My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever" Psalms 73:26.
Will this summer be easy? No. Will I become more reliant on my Savior in the stress and craziness of my work? I pray so. He has promised to never leave me or forsake me (Matthew 28:20, Hebrews 13:5). He promises that I can do all things; not on my own, but through Him, by His power (Philippians 4:13). I know I can't do all this on my own. I'm trusting His leading in my life and claiming His promise in Proverbs 3:5-6; "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
At the end of last summer, I wrote a blog post lamenting my lack of growth and mis-focus. But this summer will be different. God has humbled and molded this heart to desire something more than temporary pleasures. I want to bring my King glory; to be a good visual representation of my Lord and Redeemer. I don't know why He has allowed this broken vessel to serve Him, but I'm so grateful for the opportunities He has provided me to honor Him with.
So, tomorrow I will start the day with this thought; Hallelujah, King Jesus reigns. My sin, my weakness, my pain, my failure, my unbelief; He is greater, stronger, mightier than it all. My Conqueror and King, Comforter and Peace, Love and Life-Source, my Everything is near me. What should I fear?
But this time, the stress didn't send me into a state of despair. Though I may have uttered a sigh of "I can't do this", my heart didn't dwell on the thought. And I know the reason why.
This time, my heart and spirit had deeper roots in my Foundation. My King has revealed Himself to me in so many ways the last few months, that I've grown to seek comfort in His promises sooner rather than later. When life presents me with struggles and challenges greater than I can bear, I know and believe that my Creator holds my life and everything around me; to Him I run. I have no reason to wrestle with problems in my own weakness when my God has already conquered it. "My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever" Psalms 73:26.
Will this summer be easy? No. Will I become more reliant on my Savior in the stress and craziness of my work? I pray so. He has promised to never leave me or forsake me (Matthew 28:20, Hebrews 13:5). He promises that I can do all things; not on my own, but through Him, by His power (Philippians 4:13). I know I can't do all this on my own. I'm trusting His leading in my life and claiming His promise in Proverbs 3:5-6; "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
At the end of last summer, I wrote a blog post lamenting my lack of growth and mis-focus. But this summer will be different. God has humbled and molded this heart to desire something more than temporary pleasures. I want to bring my King glory; to be a good visual representation of my Lord and Redeemer. I don't know why He has allowed this broken vessel to serve Him, but I'm so grateful for the opportunities He has provided me to honor Him with.
So, tomorrow I will start the day with this thought; Hallelujah, King Jesus reigns. My sin, my weakness, my pain, my failure, my unbelief; He is greater, stronger, mightier than it all. My Conqueror and King, Comforter and Peace, Love and Life-Source, my Everything is near me. What should I fear?
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
A Time for Change
It can be exciting, delightful, fun, and refreshing.
It can be difficult, painful, heart-breaking, and depressing.
But you can't resist it forever. Eventually, you accept it and move on, creating a new routine, a new perspective, a new normal. Rarely is it easy; often is it for our own good.
This week marks a lengthy list of changes in my life. Some joyous or unexpected; these I gratefully receive and enjoy working into my life. Others are tough and tiring; these I have withstood and have only grown to accept them out of necessity. But there is a reason for everything and when I pause my pity-party to consider the positive, I can truly be thankful for all the changes happening in my life: the easy and the hard, the pleasant and the taxing, the ones I like and the ones I dislike.
A year ago, I would have let such changes drive me to the state of an emotional roller-coaster. With my intense and unrestrained desire for control, the difficult changes occurring in my life would have whisked me to a mild state of despair, while the unexpected changes would have moved me to a desperation to rule my own future. I know this because I experienced it. My foolish heart believed that I did have control of my life and if something went wrong, I was then responsible for the outcome, thus dooming myself to be a failure. Past posts on the blog tell the tale of my crash, burn, and cries to my Savior to pick up the pieces of the mess I made. My failure brought me to beg forgiveness for forgetting that this life is not my own; with the price of His pure blood, Christ bought me to glorify the Father (I Corinthians 6:19-20). In seeking my own control, I sought to place the creature above the Creator (Romans 1:25); to put myself on the throne of my heart. But Jeremiah 17:9 tells me clearly, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"
I am thankful that my Savior lovingly led me through the hard lesson taught many times over; God is in control, I am not. All of my careful planning, my devised steps, if made without submission to what my Lord wills, is all for naught, because I can do nothing on my own: "And which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit?" (Luke 12:25). Proverbs 16:9 states: "A man's heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps." However, God doesn't leave me on my own. As the perfect Father, He lovingly provides all my needs, directs my way, and guides my heart if I but submit to His will for me (Luke 12:31). Knowing that my life is not my own, but enslaved to Christ, I should take joy in bearing the easy burden my King gives me (Matthew 11:30).
I may not be able to control the changes that occur in my life, but I can control my reaction to them. May I prayerfully come to the Father with thanksgiving for the changes He is working in my life. "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).
It can be difficult, painful, heart-breaking, and depressing.
But you can't resist it forever. Eventually, you accept it and move on, creating a new routine, a new perspective, a new normal. Rarely is it easy; often is it for our own good.
This week marks a lengthy list of changes in my life. Some joyous or unexpected; these I gratefully receive and enjoy working into my life. Others are tough and tiring; these I have withstood and have only grown to accept them out of necessity. But there is a reason for everything and when I pause my pity-party to consider the positive, I can truly be thankful for all the changes happening in my life: the easy and the hard, the pleasant and the taxing, the ones I like and the ones I dislike.
A year ago, I would have let such changes drive me to the state of an emotional roller-coaster. With my intense and unrestrained desire for control, the difficult changes occurring in my life would have whisked me to a mild state of despair, while the unexpected changes would have moved me to a desperation to rule my own future. I know this because I experienced it. My foolish heart believed that I did have control of my life and if something went wrong, I was then responsible for the outcome, thus dooming myself to be a failure. Past posts on the blog tell the tale of my crash, burn, and cries to my Savior to pick up the pieces of the mess I made. My failure brought me to beg forgiveness for forgetting that this life is not my own; with the price of His pure blood, Christ bought me to glorify the Father (I Corinthians 6:19-20). In seeking my own control, I sought to place the creature above the Creator (Romans 1:25); to put myself on the throne of my heart. But Jeremiah 17:9 tells me clearly, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"
I am thankful that my Savior lovingly led me through the hard lesson taught many times over; God is in control, I am not. All of my careful planning, my devised steps, if made without submission to what my Lord wills, is all for naught, because I can do nothing on my own: "And which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit?" (Luke 12:25). Proverbs 16:9 states: "A man's heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps." However, God doesn't leave me on my own. As the perfect Father, He lovingly provides all my needs, directs my way, and guides my heart if I but submit to His will for me (Luke 12:31). Knowing that my life is not my own, but enslaved to Christ, I should take joy in bearing the easy burden my King gives me (Matthew 11:30).
I may not be able to control the changes that occur in my life, but I can control my reaction to them. May I prayerfully come to the Father with thanksgiving for the changes He is working in my life. "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Thunder and the Glory of God
Last night I fell asleep to the sweet sound of spring- a thunderstorm. I love the refreshed earth, the sweet smell, the cleansing feeling that follows a thunderstorm- but I do believe I love the storm itself more. I was particularly in awe of the power of God last night as I listened to the thunder roll. Psalm 19:1 came to mind; "The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork." Below is the outpouring of my heart in the midst of the storm:
As the thunder rolls in the midst of this spring storm tonight, the Spirit moves my heart to stand in awe of my Maker. As the walls and floor around me tremble with each clap of thunder, something in the core of my being awakes to the awesome power, the grandeur, the authority, the great and high difference between me and my God. His thunder is powerful enough to shake the ground I stand on. The longer it rolls on the deeper I feel my soul's need to respond with worship. It's amazing that the holiness of the Lord could be conveyed to me in the storm's noise.
The lightning flashes and for a millisecond every time, a feeling of heightened urgency courses through my veins. The brightness of the flash hurts my eyes but its a glorious and humbling sight to see it streak across the sky. My heart is moved to recognize something beyond myself.
Both the thunder and the lightning quickly take me off the pedestal I often place myself on and remind me of my small insignificance in comparison to the heavens above me. The thunder and lightning blend in a beautiful symphony that points to the brilliance, creativity, and power of the Director and Orchestrator. As I hear the storm approach, rage over me, and move on, I am reminded that He is Lord over all creation. That a universe beyond my humble home must face whatever the Director wills.
Lastly, the power displayed in the thunder and lightning point to the amazement that a God Who controls the heavens and universe would desire to work in this disobedient and sinful heart. A God Who would cross all lines of pain and suffering to provide a way to reconcile His broken creature to Himself. Instead of starting over, He pursued me. He loves me because I am His, made to glorify His name. He writes me a love Letter of instruction, sends the Comforter to indwell me, and promises a swift return and eternal fellowship with Him.
Ah, yes. As the thunder rolls in the midst of this spring storm tonight, the Spirit moves my heart to stand in awe of my Maker.
A. Wilson
Above content originally posted on my YouVersion profile here, where most of my Biblical note-taking and journaling is published.
As the thunder rolls in the midst of this spring storm tonight, the Spirit moves my heart to stand in awe of my Maker. As the walls and floor around me tremble with each clap of thunder, something in the core of my being awakes to the awesome power, the grandeur, the authority, the great and high difference between me and my God. His thunder is powerful enough to shake the ground I stand on. The longer it rolls on the deeper I feel my soul's need to respond with worship. It's amazing that the holiness of the Lord could be conveyed to me in the storm's noise.
The lightning flashes and for a millisecond every time, a feeling of heightened urgency courses through my veins. The brightness of the flash hurts my eyes but its a glorious and humbling sight to see it streak across the sky. My heart is moved to recognize something beyond myself.
Both the thunder and the lightning quickly take me off the pedestal I often place myself on and remind me of my small insignificance in comparison to the heavens above me. The thunder and lightning blend in a beautiful symphony that points to the brilliance, creativity, and power of the Director and Orchestrator. As I hear the storm approach, rage over me, and move on, I am reminded that He is Lord over all creation. That a universe beyond my humble home must face whatever the Director wills.
Lastly, the power displayed in the thunder and lightning point to the amazement that a God Who controls the heavens and universe would desire to work in this disobedient and sinful heart. A God Who would cross all lines of pain and suffering to provide a way to reconcile His broken creature to Himself. Instead of starting over, He pursued me. He loves me because I am His, made to glorify His name. He writes me a love Letter of instruction, sends the Comforter to indwell me, and promises a swift return and eternal fellowship with Him.
Ah, yes. As the thunder rolls in the midst of this spring storm tonight, the Spirit moves my heart to stand in awe of my Maker.
A. Wilson
Above content originally posted on my YouVersion profile here, where most of my Biblical note-taking and journaling is published.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
His Goodness Amazes Me
God is so good. So merciful. So incomparable. The more that I have been learning about Him lately, the more I shake my head in amazement at the love, care, protection, grace He shows me. I am at a complete loss as to why He might choose to shower such indescribable blessings on this broken sinner, but I am eternally grateful.
Every time I log onto my computer for school, I sigh with regret at the lack of time I have to simply write for my own enjoyment on the blog. However, this Thursday as I sit at the Community Center waiting to pick the sister up from work- having completed close to two hours of school work and twenty minutes of devotional time- I have rewarded myself with the pleasure of writing a post :).
This semester is only three weeks in, and I have felt as if I were drowning several times. But, praise His name, I have been reminded to seek my help in Him! Through my failure, I am learning to take it as an opportunity to come to the foot of the throne of grace and seek my Savior. Rather than simply become frustrated and disappointed in myself- and focusing on me- God has shown me how much He wants to teach me through those moments of failure. He reminds me of my purpose- to become more like Christ, to bring glory to Him.
I find it interesting that as I have learned more about my Lord and Master, I have learned more about myself. God has pointed out aspects of my life that need to be molded more to look like Christ. Here are a few things that I will be striving to work on bringing Him more glory in:
- exercising self control in the way I eat and drink. Sure, drinking 40-some ounces of pop a day may not cause me to gain weight, but I am simply giving into my desire for pop. I may exercise enough to be able to eat junk food whenever I want, but that is not practicing self control.
- cultivating a life that focuses on people. An unsaved friend amazed me recently with her keen observational skills and her ability to read people. It struck me that as one who should be all about loving God and loving people (the two commandments Christ gives in the New Testament), I should be just as careful to take the time to try to understand and pay attention to those hurting around me.
- serving my family. Too often I am lazy at home. I chose to serve myself rather than those I love most. I am going to be more diligent in doing special things to show my family I love them and appreciate them.
- pursing Christ passionately. Since He is my life, my love, my saving rescue, I know I need to make Him so much more of a priority in my time. I need my time with Him to take up my whole day. Just thinking of this moves me to tears- I am desperate for Him, and want my life to reflect that. I need to change my habits.
I am so thankful for a God who saves, molds, shapes, forgives, and loves me. Lord, I beg that You would grow me to be more like Christ!
Every time I log onto my computer for school, I sigh with regret at the lack of time I have to simply write for my own enjoyment on the blog. However, this Thursday as I sit at the Community Center waiting to pick the sister up from work- having completed close to two hours of school work and twenty minutes of devotional time- I have rewarded myself with the pleasure of writing a post :).
This semester is only three weeks in, and I have felt as if I were drowning several times. But, praise His name, I have been reminded to seek my help in Him! Through my failure, I am learning to take it as an opportunity to come to the foot of the throne of grace and seek my Savior. Rather than simply become frustrated and disappointed in myself- and focusing on me- God has shown me how much He wants to teach me through those moments of failure. He reminds me of my purpose- to become more like Christ, to bring glory to Him.
I find it interesting that as I have learned more about my Lord and Master, I have learned more about myself. God has pointed out aspects of my life that need to be molded more to look like Christ. Here are a few things that I will be striving to work on bringing Him more glory in:
- exercising self control in the way I eat and drink. Sure, drinking 40-some ounces of pop a day may not cause me to gain weight, but I am simply giving into my desire for pop. I may exercise enough to be able to eat junk food whenever I want, but that is not practicing self control.
- cultivating a life that focuses on people. An unsaved friend amazed me recently with her keen observational skills and her ability to read people. It struck me that as one who should be all about loving God and loving people (the two commandments Christ gives in the New Testament), I should be just as careful to take the time to try to understand and pay attention to those hurting around me.
- serving my family. Too often I am lazy at home. I chose to serve myself rather than those I love most. I am going to be more diligent in doing special things to show my family I love them and appreciate them.
- pursing Christ passionately. Since He is my life, my love, my saving rescue, I know I need to make Him so much more of a priority in my time. I need my time with Him to take up my whole day. Just thinking of this moves me to tears- I am desperate for Him, and want my life to reflect that. I need to change my habits.
I am so thankful for a God who saves, molds, shapes, forgives, and loves me. Lord, I beg that You would grow me to be more like Christ!
Monday, December 31, 2012
New Year's Eve Remembrance
There is only an hour left in this year of 2012. I thought it would do my heart good to take a trip down memory lane and relive my life's important moments from the last year.
It is hard for my brain to comprehend how much my job at jcp changed since this last February. I would have never imagined how much of life would be lived in this retail store, how many of my friendships would flourish in my job, or how much my job would come to affect my life. Though I may complain about it now and then, I am truly grateful that God had this as part of His plan for me this year. Work has truly grown me in many ways.
After reading through this year's blog posts I was also amazed at the incredible nature of my God. So many, many times this year I failed and flopped, messed up and migrated away from Him. Yet in each circumstance He taught me a lesson and welcomed me back with the open, forgiving arms of a loving Father. I feel so much more focused and mindful, more aware of the nature of my God now than I did at the beginning of the year. I see how many times I have failed and have since grown a much better understanding of my own sinful human nature. I trust myself less in ways for the better. I know- even if I am sometimes stubborn to confess it- that God deserves and demands all of my trust, as He is my Maker, Creator, Master and King.
I can look back through the past 12 months and thank God for the opportunity to build friendships that challenge me to pursue Christ, that encourage me to seek and love Him more. I am so grateful for the people who have invested their lives in me and for the chance I have had to invest my own life into other people.
Thinking back over the year it is easy to say how difficult it was with working full time hours and maintaining straight "A's" in eleven college classes. But I would be a fool to simply ignore the innumerable blessings that my King somehow saw fit to bless me with. I bow before Him in wonder of His mercy and love to me a sinner. Not only that, but to ignore the crazy fun times I had this year would be remiss.
I love my family. I love my friends. I love my job. I love my life. I am so blessed to have such a marvelous God who I am constantly growing in love for, since He first chose to love me. My life is complete and this year was completely in His capable control.
Hallelujah, King Jesus reigns!
~His Beloved
It is hard for my brain to comprehend how much my job at jcp changed since this last February. I would have never imagined how much of life would be lived in this retail store, how many of my friendships would flourish in my job, or how much my job would come to affect my life. Though I may complain about it now and then, I am truly grateful that God had this as part of His plan for me this year. Work has truly grown me in many ways.
After reading through this year's blog posts I was also amazed at the incredible nature of my God. So many, many times this year I failed and flopped, messed up and migrated away from Him. Yet in each circumstance He taught me a lesson and welcomed me back with the open, forgiving arms of a loving Father. I feel so much more focused and mindful, more aware of the nature of my God now than I did at the beginning of the year. I see how many times I have failed and have since grown a much better understanding of my own sinful human nature. I trust myself less in ways for the better. I know- even if I am sometimes stubborn to confess it- that God deserves and demands all of my trust, as He is my Maker, Creator, Master and King.
I can look back through the past 12 months and thank God for the opportunity to build friendships that challenge me to pursue Christ, that encourage me to seek and love Him more. I am so grateful for the people who have invested their lives in me and for the chance I have had to invest my own life into other people.
Thinking back over the year it is easy to say how difficult it was with working full time hours and maintaining straight "A's" in eleven college classes. But I would be a fool to simply ignore the innumerable blessings that my King somehow saw fit to bless me with. I bow before Him in wonder of His mercy and love to me a sinner. Not only that, but to ignore the crazy fun times I had this year would be remiss.
I love my family. I love my friends. I love my job. I love my life. I am so blessed to have such a marvelous God who I am constantly growing in love for, since He first chose to love me. My life is complete and this year was completely in His capable control.
Hallelujah, King Jesus reigns!
~His Beloved
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Simple-term Gospel
I recently came across the following through my devotions. The original content is from the She Reads Truth website and you can read it directly from them right here. I was touched at simplicity of the love story between the Good Shepherd and us lowly, foolish sheep.
"The following is an excerpt from “The Jesus Storybook Bible”, by Sally Lloyd-Jones. She uses prophecies from Isaiah 9, 11, 40, 50, 53, 55, and 60 to compose a beautifully-written message of hope from God to us, his people through the prophet Isaiah:
Dear Little Flock,
You’re all wandering away from me, like sheep in an open field. You have always been running away from me. And now you’re lost. You can’t find your way back.
But I can’t stop loving you. I will come to find you. So I am sending you a Shepherd to look after you and love you. To carry you home to me.
You’ve been stumbling around, like people in a dark room. But into the darkness, a bright Light will shine! It will chase away all the shadows, like sunshine.
A little baby will be born. A Royal Son. His mother will be a young girl who doesn’t have a husband. His name will be Emmanuel, which means “God has come to live with us.” He is one of King David’s children’s children’s children.
The Prince of Peace.
Yes, Someone is going to come and rescue you! But he won’t be who anyone expects.
He will be a King! But he won’t live in a palace. And he won’t have lots of money. He will be poor. And he will be a Servant. But this King will heal the whole world.
He will be a Hero! He will fight for his people, and rescue them from their enemies. But he won’t have big armies, and he won’t fight with swords.
He will make the blind see, he will make the lame leap like a deer!
He will make everything the way it was always meant to be.
But people will hate him, and they won’t listen to him. He will be like a Lamb – he will suffer and die.
It’s the Secret Rescue Plan we made – from before the beginning of the world!
It’s the only way to get you back.
But he won’t stay dead – I will make him alive again!
And, one day, when he comes back to rule forever, the mountains and trees will dance and sing for joy! The earth will shout out loud! His fame will fill the whole earth – as the waters cover the sea! Everything sad will come untrue. Even death is going to die! And he will wipe away every tear from every eye.
Yes, the Rescuer will come. Look for him. Watch for him. Wait for him. He will come!
I promise.
Love, God."
What a reminder of the amazement and wonder surrounding our Love story. A King came to save a foolish, lost, and wandering people. His sacrifice redeemed the lost and healed broken hearts. And praise His name, the King is coming again to rapture His bride away.
Merry Christmas.
"The following is an excerpt from “The Jesus Storybook Bible”, by Sally Lloyd-Jones. She uses prophecies from Isaiah 9, 11, 40, 50, 53, 55, and 60 to compose a beautifully-written message of hope from God to us, his people through the prophet Isaiah:
Dear Little Flock,
You’re all wandering away from me, like sheep in an open field. You have always been running away from me. And now you’re lost. You can’t find your way back.
But I can’t stop loving you. I will come to find you. So I am sending you a Shepherd to look after you and love you. To carry you home to me.
You’ve been stumbling around, like people in a dark room. But into the darkness, a bright Light will shine! It will chase away all the shadows, like sunshine.
A little baby will be born. A Royal Son. His mother will be a young girl who doesn’t have a husband. His name will be Emmanuel, which means “God has come to live with us.” He is one of King David’s children’s children’s children.
The Prince of Peace.
Yes, Someone is going to come and rescue you! But he won’t be who anyone expects.
He will be a King! But he won’t live in a palace. And he won’t have lots of money. He will be poor. And he will be a Servant. But this King will heal the whole world.
He will be a Hero! He will fight for his people, and rescue them from their enemies. But he won’t have big armies, and he won’t fight with swords.
He will make the blind see, he will make the lame leap like a deer!
He will make everything the way it was always meant to be.
But people will hate him, and they won’t listen to him. He will be like a Lamb – he will suffer and die.
It’s the Secret Rescue Plan we made – from before the beginning of the world!
It’s the only way to get you back.
But he won’t stay dead – I will make him alive again!
And, one day, when he comes back to rule forever, the mountains and trees will dance and sing for joy! The earth will shout out loud! His fame will fill the whole earth – as the waters cover the sea! Everything sad will come untrue. Even death is going to die! And he will wipe away every tear from every eye.
Yes, the Rescuer will come. Look for him. Watch for him. Wait for him. He will come!
I promise.
Love, God."
What a reminder of the amazement and wonder surrounding our Love story. A King came to save a foolish, lost, and wandering people. His sacrifice redeemed the lost and healed broken hearts. And praise His name, the King is coming again to rapture His bride away.
Merry Christmas.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
From Confusion to Celebration- all in one post!
I am confused.
Surprised? I think not. Here are a few reasons why:
•Finals begin this week- a big enough stress factor in itself, considering I haven't yet commenced studying for everything yet.
•Work has become surprisingly unfulfilling and disappointing. Not that I am necessarily sad about this- but more elaboration on this topic at a later date.
•Volunteering- both at the Community Center and in the four year old Sunday school class- has been rewarding, if not without some sacrifice. It has been an encouragement to see how much of a blessing I receive when I have the attitude desiring to be a blessing to others.
•I am coming to the realization of how important friendships are in my life; as well as how much this area has been forgotten and ignored during this last year.
"What is there to be confused about?" you may ask. Let me tell you a little secret: combining any of the two above topics results in some level of stress and confusion for this poor college student. Working full time, taking a full-time load of college classes, taking time out to volunteer, and keeping a few hours open to dedicate to growing friendships closer to Christ has resulted in a roller-coaster ride of emotions this last week.
But God is on His throne, His perfect plan is being put in place, and His Word serves as a comfort to my heart. I over think too much, worry too often, and fear the foolish things too regularly. But my life is a work in progress, being carefully crafted by my Creator, being molded into His image and likeness.
I am so utterly grateful that I am not left to struggle through this life on my own, hopeless, depressed, and lost. This spurs me both take comfort in the refuge of my Savior and to be challenged to share this love and peace with unbelievers.
Christmas is such an amazing time for the celebration and exultation of the coming of our Light of the world. Christmas is such a perfect opportunity to share such celebrations of hope and peace with those who have yet to come to the knowledge of His majesty.
Hallelujah. King Jesus reigns.
Surprised? I think not. Here are a few reasons why:
•Finals begin this week- a big enough stress factor in itself, considering I haven't yet commenced studying for everything yet.
•Work has become surprisingly unfulfilling and disappointing. Not that I am necessarily sad about this- but more elaboration on this topic at a later date.
•Volunteering- both at the Community Center and in the four year old Sunday school class- has been rewarding, if not without some sacrifice. It has been an encouragement to see how much of a blessing I receive when I have the attitude desiring to be a blessing to others.
•I am coming to the realization of how important friendships are in my life; as well as how much this area has been forgotten and ignored during this last year.
"What is there to be confused about?" you may ask. Let me tell you a little secret: combining any of the two above topics results in some level of stress and confusion for this poor college student. Working full time, taking a full-time load of college classes, taking time out to volunteer, and keeping a few hours open to dedicate to growing friendships closer to Christ has resulted in a roller-coaster ride of emotions this last week.
But God is on His throne, His perfect plan is being put in place, and His Word serves as a comfort to my heart. I over think too much, worry too often, and fear the foolish things too regularly. But my life is a work in progress, being carefully crafted by my Creator, being molded into His image and likeness.
I am so utterly grateful that I am not left to struggle through this life on my own, hopeless, depressed, and lost. This spurs me both take comfort in the refuge of my Savior and to be challenged to share this love and peace with unbelievers.
Christmas is such an amazing time for the celebration and exultation of the coming of our Light of the world. Christmas is such a perfect opportunity to share such celebrations of hope and peace with those who have yet to come to the knowledge of His majesty.
Hallelujah. King Jesus reigns.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
The Amazement of the Gospel
I first published following note on my favorite Bible app, YouVersion. I am more likely to publish a Bible study or meditation on my account name there (Hisbeloved93, name A.Wilson). But the wonderment of Colossians chapter one, particullarly verses 14-22, prompted me to repeat my thoughts on the blog.
The Amazement of the Gospel's Message
Passage: Colossians 1:14-22 KJV
Jesus Christ: "In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins: Who is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of every creature: For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him: And he is before all things, and by him all things consist. And he is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things he might have the preeminence. For it pleased the Father that in him should all fulness dwell; And, having made peace through the blood of his cross, by him to reconcile all things unto himself; by him, I say, whether they be things in earth, or things in heaven. And you, that were sometime alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now hath he reconciled In the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight:"
This is a passage that I have read many times over, but tonight it caught my attention and overwhelmed my heart. Go back and read these verses again and wonder at the mystery of the Gospel.
Did you read of the majesty of King Jesus?
The power of my Lord amazes me: "all things were created by Him and for Him", "by Him all things consist", in all things He has the preeminence. I was alienated from this King by the wretchedness of my sin. But He saw it fit to reconcile me to himself through His blood.
Astounding.
I fall before Him in eternal gratitude. The Gospel truly points out the wonderful attributes of our Savior and God!
The Amazement of the Gospel's Message
Passage: Colossians 1:14-22 KJV
Jesus Christ: "In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins: Who is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of every creature: For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him: And he is before all things, and by him all things consist. And he is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things he might have the preeminence. For it pleased the Father that in him should all fulness dwell; And, having made peace through the blood of his cross, by him to reconcile all things unto himself; by him, I say, whether they be things in earth, or things in heaven. And you, that were sometime alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now hath he reconciled In the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight:"
This is a passage that I have read many times over, but tonight it caught my attention and overwhelmed my heart. Go back and read these verses again and wonder at the mystery of the Gospel.
Did you read of the majesty of King Jesus?
The power of my Lord amazes me: "all things were created by Him and for Him", "by Him all things consist", in all things He has the preeminence. I was alienated from this King by the wretchedness of my sin. But He saw it fit to reconcile me to himself through His blood.
Astounding.
I fall before Him in eternal gratitude. The Gospel truly points out the wonderful attributes of our Savior and God!
Sunday, December 2, 2012
For Further Notice
It is another one of those nights where I find myself sitting on the floor in front of my closet crying. Overwhelmed at the amount of work due this week. Stressed that my timing will fail and so will my assignments. Feeling like a failure in my actions and disappointed in my responses.
These nights are occurring more frequently than they should.
As always, I eventually end up crying out to my Maker, knowing that He is the only One who could possible understand my befuddled heart and my confused complaints. But more importantly, the only One who has a solution to my situation.
He brings to my mind His promises in Scripture. Soothes my heart with songs of praise called to remembrance. Fills my emptiness with hope and blessings, reminding me of Who He is. Mark Schultz's songs "Lord, You Are", "He Is", and "I Am" all come to my mind. Descriptions of my mighty Savior wipe out my foolish fear.
The ending to these nights is always the same. I realize that I am tired and everything seems blown out of proportion when I reach that state. I realize that my God is big, even though I feel small. That He is able and willing to deliver me. That He "delighteth in me", as Psalm 18 says. That if the King of kings is for me, who can stand against?
I often go back and read through past blog posts. So, for future reference, Self, take note and take heart. God remains the same. Forever faithful and forgiving. He always comes through.
Save the tears and the pity-party and remember these things.
These nights are occurring more frequently than they should.
As always, I eventually end up crying out to my Maker, knowing that He is the only One who could possible understand my befuddled heart and my confused complaints. But more importantly, the only One who has a solution to my situation.
He brings to my mind His promises in Scripture. Soothes my heart with songs of praise called to remembrance. Fills my emptiness with hope and blessings, reminding me of Who He is. Mark Schultz's songs "Lord, You Are", "He Is", and "I Am" all come to my mind. Descriptions of my mighty Savior wipe out my foolish fear.
The ending to these nights is always the same. I realize that I am tired and everything seems blown out of proportion when I reach that state. I realize that my God is big, even though I feel small. That He is able and willing to deliver me. That He "delighteth in me", as Psalm 18 says. That if the King of kings is for me, who can stand against?
I often go back and read through past blog posts. So, for future reference, Self, take note and take heart. God remains the same. Forever faithful and forgiving. He always comes through.
Save the tears and the pity-party and remember these things.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving.
As this is my third year in the retail world, it is often too easy for me to think of Thanksgiving as my last day of rest before Black Friday. To regret that before the country's set aside day of thanks is even over, consumerism and materialism grips the population with a crazy stronghold. It is too easy for me to turn Thanksgiving into a day that focuses on ME- since the following day is filled with mania.
This is a foolish view and focus, of course. And so, to prepare my heart and mind for the crazy, complaint-ridden morrow, I will meditate on what I have been blessed with.
A great God. This subject can not be elaborated on enough. No set of words in the English language can fully express all the ways that my King fulfills and satisfies this longing heart. Of all the ways he rescued this hopeless, desperate, sinful heart. Of all the ways He showed and manifested His marvelous love. I am thankful for my Savior, Lord, King, Redeemer, Sacrifice, Maker, and God.
My family. We may be a crazy, imperfect, and difficult bunch, but I have comfort and security within our home. Though we may bicker, God has brought us close. We get each other- even when our quirkiness is too crazy for any outsider to understand :). We laugh at the little things and hug through the hard. I am thankful for my family.
Friendships. I have been blessed with godly mentors whose friendships guide me closer in my walk with God. I am blessed to have some close friends who share the same history as I do, understand where I am coming from, and encourage me to the same end they pursue- a life that glorifies the King of kings. I have been curiously blessed with crossing paths with people who seem to be opposite of myself, yet similar in many ways. Though these friendships may have a deeper mission-focus, they have taught me and blessed me more than I would have guessed! I have also been blessed with the budding of new friendships, praising God for the opening of these doors of encouragement and blessing. With the focus of Christ at the core, I am excited to see how God leads and grows these friendships.
Work. I would have never guessed how big of a part jcpenney would play in my life when I applied over three years ago. I have been blessed to have a job I love, one that I have been able to move up through the ranks. And the friendships I have gained, the encouragement of meeting and working with other Christians, the fun times that I have had- I would have never imagined the joy I would have received in working retail! When I remember the servant-based description of my job, I am reminded of the servant attitude of my Savior- and the one I should be cultivating myself. I am thankful for my job an the people it contains!
Of course, my list could continue indefinitely. But it is late, and my 5AM shift starts soon. But I am going to bed with a thankful heart and a glorious reminder of all my God has done for me!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Monday, November 19, 2012
The Heart-Satisfier
The love of God is incomparable. Indescribable. Everlasting. Satisfying. Remarkable. Gracious.
The more I learn about the characteristics of my Savior's love, the more I experience the purest satisfaction that the comfort of His love brings, the more I stand in awe.
I have been reading through John Piper's "Taste and See" the last few weeks. One of my favorite phrases I have encountered so far is this: "Christ is our heart-satisfier".
Think on that. Meditate on it.
If I believe that the only source of TRUE satisfaction is in my Savior and King- that He alone is my heart-satisfier- then how should that affect my actions? Why would I still try to find my satisfaction in friendships, fitting in, work, status- when deep down I know that I won't find lasting joy and peace in these things?
Such a challenging thought to enter this holiday season with. Meditating on the fact that joy, peace, love, and satisfaction are found only in my Savior will in turn cultivate a focus on the eternal. And what an urgency there is for such a focus!
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Silent Night
I have been blessed as a college student to not have too many late nights of class work or cramming. But tonight, I made the decision to stay up past midnight to work on a lengthy English paper.
In the quietness of my room with the soft glow of my two small Christmas trees, I contemplate how blessed I am. Silent Night softly plays through my headphones as I pause my typing fingers.
Silent night, holy night,
All is calm, all is bright.
The lyrics catch my attention, for the truth in my current situation rings out. Rarely is my mind in such a place that I can lean back and rest in the quietness of the evening, the midnight hour. An unusual calm has settled about me, the soft glow of my trees add to the mood. Then I realized: not only is the softness of my room quite and calm, but by the grace of God through my Savior I can proclaim my soul as calm, declare my future as bright.
Christmas is just a few weeks away. Too often in the rush of daylight do I regret the quickness with which time passes, the constant rush that life seems to keep pace with. I often forget that I have the power of Christ within my humble frame. Never should I feel the need to race on to the next thing. Seeking rest in my Savior and resting in the promises of my King can make the busyness of the morning as silent and calm as the peaceful night.
What a blessing. Peace in the midst of struggle. Rest in the midst of busyness. Silence in the midst of chaos. Jesus in the midst of it all.
Thank You, Father, for this reminder.
In the quietness of my room with the soft glow of my two small Christmas trees, I contemplate how blessed I am. Silent Night softly plays through my headphones as I pause my typing fingers.
Silent night, holy night,
All is calm, all is bright.
The lyrics catch my attention, for the truth in my current situation rings out. Rarely is my mind in such a place that I can lean back and rest in the quietness of the evening, the midnight hour. An unusual calm has settled about me, the soft glow of my trees add to the mood. Then I realized: not only is the softness of my room quite and calm, but by the grace of God through my Savior I can proclaim my soul as calm, declare my future as bright.
Christmas is just a few weeks away. Too often in the rush of daylight do I regret the quickness with which time passes, the constant rush that life seems to keep pace with. I often forget that I have the power of Christ within my humble frame. Never should I feel the need to race on to the next thing. Seeking rest in my Savior and resting in the promises of my King can make the busyness of the morning as silent and calm as the peaceful night.
What a blessing. Peace in the midst of struggle. Rest in the midst of busyness. Silence in the midst of chaos. Jesus in the midst of it all.
Thank You, Father, for this reminder.
Friday, November 9, 2012
Psalm 103
Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the LORD, O my
soul, and forget not all His benefits:
Who forgiveth all
thine iniquities; Who healeth all thy diseases;
Who redeemeth thy
life from destruction; Who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender
mercies;
Who satisfieth thy
mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's.
The LORD executeth
righteousness and judgment for all that are oppressed.
He made known His
ways unto Moses, His acts unto the children of Israel.
The LORD is merciful
and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.
He will not always
chide: neither will He keep His anger forever.
He hath not dealt
with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
For as the heaven is
high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward them that fear Him.
As far as the east is
from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us.
Like as a father
pitieth His children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear Him.
For He knoweth our
frame; He remembereth that we are dust.
As for man, his days
are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth.
For the wind passeth
over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more.
But the mercy of the
LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear Him, and His
righteousness unto children's children;
To such as keep His
covenant, and to those that remember His commandments to do them.
The LORD hath
prepared His throne in the heavens; and His kingdom ruleth over all.
Bless the LORD, ye His
angels, that excel in strength, that do His commandments, hearkening unto the
voice of His word.
Bless ye the LORD,
all ye His hosts; ye ministers of His, that do His pleasure.
Bless the LORD,
all His works in all places of His dominion: bless the LORD, O my soul.
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Expectations- Rarely Realistic
Expectations are a funny thing.
For instance, I always start the week with high expectations. Tomorrow (Monday) is my usual day off; but this week I am sure that I will work way ahead on all of my college classes, finishing several sessions by mid-afternoon. Then, I will be free to enjoy an evening at home with my family. Since I know that I have been lacking in my help with keeping up the household, I expect of myself that to plan- at the very least, help make- at least one meal for the family, help with grocery shopping, do a clean sweep of the house as a surprise for my over-worked mother, do one fun bonding activity with my little sister, and partake of some yard work for my dad.
Also, I have been too busy with work and school to enjoy any of my own hobbies. The college class is having a star-gazing party Friday night; fellowship with other believers will be a blessing to my Spirit. I could take my free Saturday and get together with my long-lost friend, do some early morning vintage window shopping, and enjoy a special treat. My living quarters could use some redecorating and rearranging, to keep everything fresh. Oh yeah- I also need to do some business with the eye doctor and the bank- something that has been put off for several weeks now. And I would really love to compose a few in-depth, applicable Bible studies in conjunction with what I have been learning the past few weeks. I could do that on a few of my early mornings before work. Right after a morning jog to help kick off an healthy and missing dose of exercise my body has been deprived of.
The humor and ridiculousness of the above paragraphs force me to type outside the bounds of my grammatical perfectionism to say: LOL. JK!!!!
I understand that expectations are a good thing- when they are made inside the bounds of reasonableness and attainability. Sometimes, though, I wish I could take a few days- just four!- and fulfill my lofty expectations to the level of perfection. My foolish heart half-way believes that this achievement would make me feel complete, feel of worth, feel made whole.
The other half understands that my truest sense of satisfaction does not come from the completion of tasks, of fulfilling duties I have placed upon myself. Rather, it knows that in Christ alone can hope be found. In Christ alone will I be satisfied. In serving and seeking Him will my heart overflow with sense of purpose, worth, and joy.
Therefore, my realistic goals for this week are much simpler. Complete my class sessions- preferably before Friday, pitch in around the house more, and publish a few Bible studies. I would like to attend the College class activity as a chance to be revitalized and uplift other Christians, call the bank, and set up a meeting with my dear friend, but I understand that other priorities are more important.
Above all, though, I pray that this week I might seek to serve my Savior. Whether that is manifested in holding my tongue when I'd rather lash out in anger, helping an irritating customer, or simply taking the quiet moments I find myself in and praising my Maker, I hope my main expectation becomes a reality: becoming closer to my God.
I close with some of my favorite pins from my WoRdS board on Pinterest.
For instance, I always start the week with high expectations. Tomorrow (Monday) is my usual day off; but this week I am sure that I will work way ahead on all of my college classes, finishing several sessions by mid-afternoon. Then, I will be free to enjoy an evening at home with my family. Since I know that I have been lacking in my help with keeping up the household, I expect of myself that to plan- at the very least, help make- at least one meal for the family, help with grocery shopping, do a clean sweep of the house as a surprise for my over-worked mother, do one fun bonding activity with my little sister, and partake of some yard work for my dad.
Also, I have been too busy with work and school to enjoy any of my own hobbies. The college class is having a star-gazing party Friday night; fellowship with other believers will be a blessing to my Spirit. I could take my free Saturday and get together with my long-lost friend, do some early morning vintage window shopping, and enjoy a special treat. My living quarters could use some redecorating and rearranging, to keep everything fresh. Oh yeah- I also need to do some business with the eye doctor and the bank- something that has been put off for several weeks now. And I would really love to compose a few in-depth, applicable Bible studies in conjunction with what I have been learning the past few weeks. I could do that on a few of my early mornings before work. Right after a morning jog to help kick off an healthy and missing dose of exercise my body has been deprived of.
The humor and ridiculousness of the above paragraphs force me to type outside the bounds of my grammatical perfectionism to say: LOL. JK!!!!
I understand that expectations are a good thing- when they are made inside the bounds of reasonableness and attainability. Sometimes, though, I wish I could take a few days- just four!- and fulfill my lofty expectations to the level of perfection. My foolish heart half-way believes that this achievement would make me feel complete, feel of worth, feel made whole.
The other half understands that my truest sense of satisfaction does not come from the completion of tasks, of fulfilling duties I have placed upon myself. Rather, it knows that in Christ alone can hope be found. In Christ alone will I be satisfied. In serving and seeking Him will my heart overflow with sense of purpose, worth, and joy.
Therefore, my realistic goals for this week are much simpler. Complete my class sessions- preferably before Friday, pitch in around the house more, and publish a few Bible studies. I would like to attend the College class activity as a chance to be revitalized and uplift other Christians, call the bank, and set up a meeting with my dear friend, but I understand that other priorities are more important.
Above all, though, I pray that this week I might seek to serve my Savior. Whether that is manifested in holding my tongue when I'd rather lash out in anger, helping an irritating customer, or simply taking the quiet moments I find myself in and praising my Maker, I hope my main expectation becomes a reality: becoming closer to my God.
I close with some of my favorite pins from my WoRdS board on Pinterest.
 |
| His Love: none can comprehend |
 |
| Focus |
 |
| This song makes me rise to the tips of my toes and cry my heart out to my Creator |
Monday, October 1, 2012
October~ First Breath of Fall
October 1st. The beginning of fall.
This year has just gone by too fast.
This year has just gone by too fast.
Fall is my favorite season- and why not?
Here are a few of my favorite things; sweatshirts, scarves, jeans, layers, hot cocoa, heavy blankets, clear crisp air, Bon fires, s'mores, corn mazes, costume parties, pumpkin scents, falling leaves, changing colors. Fall also comes with the halfway mark of this college sophomore semester- which is ridiculously crazy.
Lately I have thought back to where I was at this time last year. Though I feel as if I have made no progress with my life this last year, I know it isn't true. A year of college classes is behind me, a new position title and another year of work experience is under my belt, and I am more aware of the depths of my own sinful depravity. The grace of my God- though I'll never understand it- has been appreciated in new levels, and the enduring love of my Savior has crossed all barriers I may have put up. I don't know why He pursues my loathsome heart, but am forever grateful for His saving power and seeking love.
Although I know of these things, it is a constant battle to remember His promises and His claim on my life. I am not my own: "What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's"-1 Corinthians 6:19-20.
What a marvelous Lord I serve. He loves me when I go my own way. Loves me enough to guide my heart back to Him. Enough to remove the barriers I set up to protect myself, knowing that His protection far exceeds what I could attempt.
Blessed beyond measure.
What a amazing way to contemplate the beginning of this favored season!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)